Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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