Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize