Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
there is puke in my bra ... again
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