She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
