Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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