I murdered the dance floor call the cops
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
