we're chasing vodka with high fives
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
