He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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