i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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