to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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