Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why didn't you poke me back
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
