He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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