this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize