there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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