It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Damn victory sex feels great
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
