It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
