all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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