operation harelip BJ is a go
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Couch. On fire.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
