I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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