apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
