is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize