Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
