dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
