Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
