everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
