Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
