I just cut my nipple shaving
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
