So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
