I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
