Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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