I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
