Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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