sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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