If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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