so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
