You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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