My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
