just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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