I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
