It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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