In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
