Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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