I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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