I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
