she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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