I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize