Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
