Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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