i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
