Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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