i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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