so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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