when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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