cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize