ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
