I CAN MOONWALK!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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