it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
