I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
