But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
