We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
