her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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