A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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