I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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