ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
