if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you made out with another girl for some wings
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
