Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
