Your dad touched me again.
Small penises have feelings too.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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