i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
