trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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