I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dick very happy bro
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
