You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
