We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
