it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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